Monthly Archives: November 2013
How to nicely tell your neighbor’s to HUSH UP WE’RE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE…
They say when it rains in pours in ones life and the last two weeks has really been a test of my strength. I have had a lot of bad news come my way in recent weeks that really stressed me out. The worst news was finding out that yet another member of my family has been diagnosed with Terminal Cancer. This time, the cancer is in the spine, liver, and lungs. Totally inoperable, she was given 6 months. How do you just put a timeline on someone? I can’t get passed that notion of a time stamp. I do a lot of reading while at work and research and it’s funny that I have read a ton of stories where people were diagnosed with cancer and they refused all medication and treatment and would go back to the doctors for a check up and the cancer is gone. So is the medicine the killer? Things I often ask myself as I am running…Well that, and what can I do! That brings me to my running..
I started running because I found the Power and Strength in my Grandmother when she went through cancer treatments and when she finally looked at a doctor and said if the treatment is going to be as bad or worse than when I had breast cancer then I don’t want to do it, I’ve lived my life and I have a beautiful family to show for it. Shortly after that I found myself in a depression that no one really new about. I’m pretty good about hiding stuff like that because I eventually get over it and move on. That day that I finally started to get out of that dark hole I looked at myself in the mirror and saw what I had become an almost 300 lbs woman. My friend looked at me and straight up with no hesitation, ‘I don’t wanna bury my Fucking Best Friend! Fucking do something about it!” she’s not one to curve her thoughts or what comes out of her mouth. She’s a Queens Girl and I wouldn’t expect anything less! That was the day that I said On January 1st 2012 THIS IS MY TURN!! THIS IS MY TIME TO CHANGE MY LIFE… for my grandmother and mainly for myself. That’s when I laced up and haven’t really looked back.
I’m naturally a happy person, who sometimes talks to much, but loves to love everyone. I’m the type that wears my heart on my sleeve and often gets walked over and on. But if you’ve ever run by me at an event or on the street when I am by myself a lot of times I am deep in thought. I’m always thinking of what I can improve, how I can help out others, what can I do next, how much I wish my family was here watching me run these events, and what cancer research program can I run for that I trust….This past week after finding out the news of another cancer strike in my family I found myself in the middle of my run collapsing on someones stoop and just breaking down. It just tares me apart that I wish I was smart enough to have stayed in school and became a Doctor of Medicine and studied and researched Cancer. That there is a cure out there somewhere that I think they are with holding from all of us. That people that I care about wouldn’t have to suffer anymore with this. And this is where I always Break down in the middle of my runs and at the finish.. I’m usually a tough broad and I have been known to compose myself really well. but I find with my running lately that my emotions are coming more through.
Wanna hear something I do to help me as well? I write the word cancer on the bottom of my run shoes so as I run it rubs off. Its like my way of helping stomp out cancer. It’s a way to say to my Nana and to Lynn that I am working my damndist to Stomp out cancer for them and for everyone else that is effected by this. I run mainly for those who can’t. I run for my family even if they don’t realize it! This is all for them. I pour my heart into it even when it’s a shitty day.
So with that, This next year is for you Lynn! Each Step, Each Stride, Each Tear, and every bit of Sweat! This is my strength for you! We will get through this.
Greatest thing I found this week is a program ran by Sean Austin called Run3rd . It has made me so happy that someone has the same way of thinking when it comes to running.
Sometimes I find that I might be to much at times. I know this and I also know that New Yorkers also shy from it. I just love being around people, I love communicating with people, and I love to just love! People tend to either take it in a good way or a bad way. Me being me, I never know which way is which. I dunno. All I know is I am over here over thinking everything I have said and did in the last week or so and thinking maybe I just need to back off a bit. It’s just one of those days I suppose. It’s been one of those days where I just question everything that I am doing, did and will do! Today’s not a good day.
So this past weekend has been more or less the most Inspiring weekend ever! It started on Thursday for packet pick up. NYRR had the Dash To the Finish pick up along with the ING NYC Marathon so walking in to the Javits center was like walking into Heavens gates. There was so many runners from all over the world and walking into the EXPO instantly gave me the Bug.
I never saw myself ever wanting to ever run a Marathon and HOLY CRAP I WANT TO NOW! From the first second you step into the expo you can feel the energy the power that is the NYC MARATHON!!! My friend Nirvana and I caroused the aisles for about 5 hours.. Up and down back and forth. We both left out of there with new running shoes and a smile from ear to ear. We both were now pumped for not only the dash to the finish but hopefully making it into the marathon come 2014 or even 2015.
Saturday comes and I meet Nirvana at the Train Station and we are off to the start line. I meet up with one of my amazing NYCInstarunners, @Nerdrunning (Raf)… I’m going to be honest, since I joined this community of runners, I have found my HAPPY! My Running Life Feels soooo complete.. and it all started at the Queens 10K when I first met The Awesome Mom, Amy! Okay so back to the Run before I get side tracked and tell you how I LOVE MY RUNNERS!… We started off on 42nd St. and Head down to 6th Ave. The First 2 miles have me awe struck with the fact that I am running through the city and headed to central park once again. Running past The Empire State and Radio City was just amazing.. I stopped here and there to take it in.. to look up and enjoy what New York city is. It’s History, its amazing architecture, it’s amazingness… To Think, I live in this city.. Mile 2 starts just shortly after you enter central park….. and this is when things get real, this is when the emotion sets in, and this is where I catch the marathon bug even worse. Coming into the gates and seeing all the nations flags and the energy of the people just got to me… Running through the finish line and looking down at my time made me SOOOO happy. I had pr’d and Clocked my fastest mile! I was stoked….
Then a text msg came through…. You wanna come to Breakfast I have access to the VIP tent… umm Yes… So I meet up with Raf and that’s when my girl Nirvana had an early christmas Present… She got to meet her idol Shalane Flanagan! I can’t thank Raf enough for that inviting us for breakfast. I’m also so happy to have him as friend as well.. Seriously, he has the sweetest soul and a damn good runner!
So sunday comes, and I had been slated be the Social Reporter for NYCInstarunners and my cousin Donna… My Running community ROCKS!! Seriously each of them that ran has inspired me so much! Alexie, DUDE YOU DID IT!!!!! and the best part is he ran the last 3 miles with his son by his side but he was with him the whole way! Each of our runners was greeted by one amazing lady who has not only inspired me but who I consider a dear friend, Amy. The tears of Joy, happiness, and OH MY GODS were met with her placing their medal around their neck followed up by a congratulations and a hug. I honestly don’t know what or if there is a better feeling than someone you know putting your medal on you.. Especially someone as amazing as her. She truly has a heart of gold.
Here it is Wed, I have been going back and forth with this entry. Trying to figure out what, what I want to say and where I want to go.. But I will say this, part of me is kicking myself for not making it down to mile 20 to hang with Joseph and see my fellow runners get ready for the last 10K of their amazing journey. I’ve told myself that next year if I do not get in that I would make it down there to support my FRIENDS! This community feels more to me like an elite club of amazing people that inspire in some way shape or form. I’ve said before I feel whole and complete. I found my Comfort Zone in NY finally. I know I may ramble and not shut up sometimes… but I am just super stoked on life, love what I am doing and where I am going. 2014 has so many promising things coming to it and I glad to have met the people I have.